Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Goodbye, I miss you so much.

1997 - 2010
On Tuesday we had to put our dog Kimee to sleep.
It was the hardest decision of my life...
But I know that it was the right one because she had been suffering. She was having multple strokes a night and you could tell she was in clear pain.
About 2 weeks ago we noticed that she was acting differently, walking constantly in circles.
The vet said that she had either a stroke or brain tumour,
and we could do an MRI or CT scan to see which it is.
because she was almost 14 (her birthday is in June)
there was really no point, because if it is a stroke, then medicine can make her better.
But if it is a brain tumour, then she will only get worse
and because of her old age, the chances of her surviving surgery was low.
So I guess you can say I was prepared for this in some way.
But that doesn't ease the pain in any way.
She was the most alert, bright and intelligent dog that I know.
So to have seen her so weak during the last days was heartbreaking. She got so weak that when the vet injected her to put her down, he couldn't find a strong enough pulse.
When she was sedated, she was in my arms.
It was the most peaceful I had see her in so long. Kimee, I'm so sorry that I couldn't take your pain away.
I have another pet, another dog called Sam. Maybe because he is a different breed, a Golden Retriever who are more friendly and loves people, Sam feels like a family pet. A family dog.
He's the type of dog you see in those good feel Disney family movies where
the family dog does nothing but wait by the gate, waiting for you to come home.
Kimee was different. She was cunning, selifsh and knew how to get her way.
Maybe that's why I always saw her like a person.
Don't get me wrong, I still love Sam just as much.
Sam is the dog who depends on us, he's so innocent and beautiful that I want to protect him from the evils of the world.
Kimee was the dog I depended on, she was so strong and smart that I knew I could trust her to always get me through the hard times.

Kimee was my best friend and my family.
I had her for more than half my life, and through the hardest times of my life.
She knew when I was sad, and never failed to lick my tears away, even during the last days when she barely had strength to breathe.
I grew up with her, that it's weird I don't really remember life before her.
I feel like I've lost a part of myself, a part of my childhood.
I know no one will probably read this long post.
But what the heck, this is my blog. And I feel like I owe her something
and a short message of how incredible she was is the least I can do.


i could start with my name said...

ouch. im crying. hope youre okay.

Anonymous said...

/gives big FAT hug